I always wondered why I used to see so many couples date for several years and then divorce within the first year or two of marriage. As I mentioned earlier, my husband and I dated for several years before getting married. We even lived together for about a year during our engagement. Something changed though between us being a “couple” and a “married couple.” In my opinion, it was a combination of a change in the expectation and a fear of the “ever after.”
For example, arguments were pretty serious before we got married, but for the most part, they stayed in the moment. I remember following our first fight after we got married, the very first thought that came to my mind was, “Oh my God. Am I going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life?” Somehow, the very same thing we’d argued about prior to marriage took on a whole new magnitude.
I think it’s that very thought process that destroys married couples. “Til death do us part” is an extremely intimidating phrase. Forever is such an unpredictable time frame. I heard it said one time that “Life isn’t short. What else will you experience that lasts longer than life?” How true is that? So there you are, with this “long” life ahead of you. And then it dawns on you that your long life could possibly be filled with dirty socks on your floor, mood swings, declined sex drives, compromised convictions, and a never-ending quest to make someone ELSE happy. Can you say PANIC ATTACK?