Submitted by Allison
Married 8 years
The very first day I met Jim, I knew he was the right man for me, but what about his mother? As expected, his mother was a hard nut to crack and the worst part was that she retracted into her shell whenever I tried to interact.
Nevertheless, Jim and I were serious enough to get married and soon after pandemonium set in. I ultimately felt like a fish out of water for the first six months. Even simple issues, like the dishes are not up to her expectations, taken up serious turns leaving no room for breathing in this relationship. But I have inherited an indomitable spirit from my father and thanks to his wise words that I now know how to handle in-laws.
I realized that you needed to imbibe loads of diplomacy and patience to thrive in the in-laws house. You should be tacky and know how to put up faces, because the last thing that a mother in law likes is being cited rules by a newcomer! Regarding diplomacy, tie up your tongue in iron chains and talk only when you are expected to. I did so at least for the first year, unless I could create a niche for myself. At times when I really found it hard to keep quiet, I would bite my lips, because how long could a woman stand injustice and utter boredom.
At this crucial juncture, I am reminded of an incident. My friends were going for a trekking trip and I ardently wanted to join them. When I informed my dedicated husband about my desires, he appeared as if I had asked him for a kidney donation! I approached by mother in law and believe me; she did not allow me because they would not be able to join. The times have passed; I look back and wonder how patient I had been.
Now that I am a mother of two, complications have taken a separate course. My mother in law teaches me how to rear my own children. To speak ideally I must say- ‘you could not teach your own son, how you can suggest me how to train my children”! But I keep quiet- because I believe that the patience is a virtue. And there is yet another golden principle my father taught me back then- do to others as you would like them to do to you. Over the years, the temperaments- mine and hers- have learnt to adjust and so will yours! So keep a lot of patience if you want to enjoy marital bliss!